Those feelings

Assalamualaikum..

Hye. So here, another random thought.

Recently, I realized that time passes quickly. Rasa macam baru je masuk tahun baru, and then suddenly dah puasa, and now raya dah habis dan bila tengok kalendar rupa-rupanya dah bulan Ogos which means we already passed half way of the year! Mana pergi separuh tahun awal tu? Seriously?

Sometimes I think I got so many free times. Why didn't I do this and do that and everything? Apa yang aku dah buat selama masa yang ada ni, untuk diri, family dan kawan-kawan atau orang-orang sekeliling yang lain? Apa benda yang aku fokus sangat sampai aku takda masa untuk buat benda-benda tu?

And all this while, walaupun rasa macam sekejapnya masa berlalu, but many things happened. Expected or not, they're all just happened. Being busy with works, family, and other so-called "unnecessary" things, make me feel so bad when something happened, and I just can accept it, because it's already happened. Nothing can be changed. Sebab selama ni ada je masa untuk ubah semua mungkin untuk jadi lebih baik, tapi aku tak buat. Dan perasaan tu adalah sesuatu yang sangat teruk. Lebih teruk bila ada kaitan dengan kehilangan. Kita hanya hargai sesuatu tu bila kita dah kehilangan dia kan?

Another thing adalah perasaan bila kita dah cuba buat yang terbaik, tapi apa yang jadi adalah sebaliknya. I expect it to be better but it becomes worst. I have so many plans in my life. Every night before sleep, I will think of what the things I will do for tomorrow. If I don't want to do anything, get a rest, then that's my plan (Don't argue about this please). 

Same goes to my financial arrangement. On this date I need to pay for this, on another date I will have to pay for that. And the remaining weeks I need this total of amount to survive until the end of the month. But that's my plan, which usually will not turn to be exactly like what I want. Maybe something happens, which need to rearrange everything all over again.

And at some moment, I just think that I already succeed in achieving what I want. Even a simple thing like got to buy something on Lazada (LOL). And yeah, just like that. A simple thing that means happiness to me. And it makes me so happy and enjoy my day to the max.

Meanwhile, ada masa benda terjadi takda kaitan pun dengan aku. Just like arwah Zulfarhan yang meninggal sebab kes kena buli ke apa tu. Dia takda kaitan apa dengan aku, tapi aku punya teremosi dengan cerita dia sampaikan masuk dalam mimpi, effect emosi kalau boleh taknak adik-adik masuk asrama ke sambung belajar mana-mana yang jauh apa semua. Serius takda kaitan. Tapi emosi betul.

Memang complicated.

But, it's better to have those feelings, daripada takda perasaan kot kan?

So here the big girls who got so many mixed feelings

Just being random, forgive me.

Dream

I really really really want to go to Japan.

Please, once in my lifetime. 

Girls Power

Assalamualaikum...

And hye..

Have you ever admire any woman in your life? Whoever she is, you absolutely admire her for some reason right?

I have a list of women that I admire a lot. Yes.

Not that one woman I like got every criteria that I want as a woman. No no no.

Maybe I like this girl because the way she talk or represent herself. Maybe I like another girl just because of her smile is so nice. And another one girl I like because she able to handle her problem like so cool yaw. Then this one girl also make me admire her due to her achievement in her life. Also this one got skill in make up like everything she touches become so beautiful. Maybe she so fit and her lifestyle is so healthy and I also want to be like her. And yes, the list goes on and on. So many things that make me admire them and make me talk to myself that I want to be like them.

Absolutely I cannot be like them 100%. But itsoke, 99% also will do. Lol. But yes, I think this is the best way we as a woman should think, maybe. Instead of being jealous, kan?

And of course that is the positive way. But me, as a hooomannnnn, always have this negative thinking. Always and yes I admit it. (Tau jahat, ye tau)

Macam tadi all the examples I told earlier, we should be proud of having a girl (like we all girls are in one team, and then got this one girl represent the others. lol) yang expose herself, show to all the boys out there that we can do this and that. Yela girls power kan? Tapi at one time mesti akan ada this feeling yang macam menyampah sikit (padahal in one team tadi ek eleh apehal?) Do you get me? Mungkin terlampau banyak exposure yang dari diri dia sendiri, tu yang jadikan orang tak suka.

And this definitely correct! I strongly and totally agree. Haha. Tak perlu nak setiap masa cerita yang kau reti masak, reti jahit, reti repair kereta, reti panjat pokok, reti memancing, whatever lah benda yang kononnya kau boleh hidup tanpa lelaki or anyone else sebab nak buktikan girls are power.

Makin banyak kita cerita kebaikan atau kebolehan kita, lagi banyak orang nampak keburukan dan kekurangan kita betul tak? Sometimes we have to admit that we don't know this and we need help. It won't harm you anything to request the others' help. We live in this world together, not you alone. And the other also might need your help too. We just have to learn how to give and take, to be more tolerate and being considerate to other person (to both woman and man as well).

Just an example. Vivy Yusof. I think all Malaysian recognize her as a very wonderful and successful young entrepreneur besides being a working mom and a hot wife. Haha. Ala tengok ayat bodek mesti tau how much I admire her. Haha. To be honest, yes I admire her so much. We all see her as a perfect woman. But she still admit her lack in cooking, in make up, as a mom to Danial and Mariam, and everything. Still so humble. While every woman maybe pray everyday to be just like her (aku lah tu hmm). Tapi tula, by admitting her lack in those areas, she didn't even being lower than her position now. It makes her become more powerful and respectful.

Different to those yang asyik cakap besar je, orang jadi menyampah kan. Dok cerita buat itu ini, but at the end, tak nampak apa. Orang tambah lagi mengata.

So let keep ourselves be more humble dearest girls. But at the same time, make improvement from time to time. Biarkan kejayaan kita atau apa2 kebaikan kita tu yang buatkan orang lain recognise kita. Okay?

Girls power!